Tonight The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inducts perhaps one of the most scintillating and original hard rockers of the last 20 years. Their emergence in 2003 from the Australian continent was a blessing for the idling state of Garage and Hard Rock, forcing both genres to shrink in the face of an emerging style that was at once original and ...
Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm sorry. I can't do this. I can't allow for this atrocity. I've been here while musicians like The Rolling Stones, Jimi Hendrix and The Clash were inducted, but to induct Jet would be such a great devolution that I cannot, so long as I have even a hint of compunction, be part of it. Get Born, the album which launched their much lauded career, is horrible. Yes, you heard me. It doesn't deserve all the accolades heaped upon it. It doesn't even deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence as The Beatles, Led Zeppelin, and it sure as hell shouldn't be mentioned in the same sentence with my band.
Look, I liked Get Born when it first came out. I thought it was reckless, heavy Garage Rock, a welcomed break from the Retro Indie-Rock of The Strokes and Southern Garage influence of The White Stripes. 'Are You Gonna Be My Girl' was wildly addictive; both irreverent and unrelenting, I stupidly opted to buy Get Born. You know, I was at first so pleased with the album that it even made it on my list of the 37 Best Albums of 2003. But after repeated listens I discovered how base, unoriginal, and thoroughly weak the entire piece is. The realization probably became no clearer than after the popularity of 'Cold Hard Bitch.' I asked myself, "Was this shit written by inebriated philistines?" Seriously folks, have you actually listened to the cd more than once? It's shallow as hell.
Do you want to write like Jet? It's quite simple, really. Here's the formula: "Girl ______ Radio ______ Yeah! Play ____ I want You ____ Yeah!" Just fill in the blanks with whatever and there you have it. Instant Lyrics! I don't expect e.e. cummings when I get a record but I don't expect Dr. Seuss either. You know what? I retract that. Green Eggs and Ham had far more lyrical depth than the pabulum these guys try to pass off as cleverness and emotional potency. I've heard better lyrics from The Shaggs.
I will praise them for being mechanically competent. As stupid as songs like 'Rollover D.J.' and 'Lazy Gun' are, their slick, stylish production deserves some credit. But between these songs are these absolutely idiotic ballads that, from what I could tell, are trite exercises of tenderness. 'Look What You've Done,' 'Radio Song,' and 'Timothy' sound like bad hybrids of Oasis and Queen's 'Bohemian Rhapsody.' The fuck, guys! I know you all think I'm just an upset curmudgeon, a rocker disappointed at his failed career and aimlessly spitting venom at the new school of rock that swept me out of the way. I do not deny that I'm bitter. But what I will deny is Jet's place in this great institution. The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is home to Roy Orbison, Muddy Waters, Stevie Wonder, and Parliament-Funkadelic. Think of what you're doing! THINK OF THE CHILDREN!
Release date: October 7, 2003
Label: Elektra / Wea
Rating: 3.0 / 10
© Copyright 1998-2005 RockMusicReview.com. All Rights Reserved.